


I am...acting out of my character

by Cookforgee



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, Post-Season 2, confession of love, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:34:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28771665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cookforgee/pseuds/Cookforgee
Summary: It happens after Season 2. Sherlock has something unspoken. He finds himself tempted to his best friend.
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes & John Watson, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Kudos: 2





	I am...acting out of my character

I am crawling to my cold skin,

waiting for your call.

I am writing my note to you,

with my departed parts.

I am falling before my death,

looking into your eyes.

I am lighting my weight on you,

before you fall for other bodies.

I am playing your part, bleeding

less than an hour, more than an inch.

I am hearing you breathing many times,

touch my face, try to find my heartbeats.

I am leaving you one step away,

the air screams closer, meet me on the other side.

I am undressing the clothes with blood,

they are not under my secret, talk to myself about you.

I am sweating on my graveyard with sanity,

replacing your presence of the present.

I am fighting my point of view with the unspoken dark,

because you still text to me about your life.

I am leaving my control of punishment,

pleasing myself with your old stories.

I am forcing you remember our memories,

that seem like I am still knocking your door in the dark.

I am counting the days after we met,

wondering if I am still enchanted to meet you.

I am laughing on the vanish of our conversation,

as if you stop saying something about miracles, instead say something new.

I am sparking in the chamber of our home,

do you still think your dream would never come true?

I am sobbing for shutting down my emotion,

spend forever to exanimate your new outlook.

I am blowing the candles on your birthday cake,

in case you don't look at the clock anymore.

I am dressing a new costume without a second opinion,

but the idea of you expecting me flames my sleep.

I am joining the distance that I can run to you,

ask your permission for staying with you in the rain.

I am sitting from the back to see your damnation,

the truth is that you do not own me anything.

I am stealing your imagination about the future,

all the ways I can stop you on the street burn both of us.

I am changing my clothes right here, right now,

you are looking at me but not from the building.

I am collecting your name on your shirt,

take away all the weight from your anger.

I am failing to admit my mistakes,

spending my mind inside out, to come see you.

I am spending all the money I own you,

living the essence of the truth that I still alive.

I am wasting my entire apology with smile,

smiling more than you can tolerate. 

I am touching you when you are drunk to tell your sorrow,

taking you out of dinner, sticking my secret right on the forehead.

I am bringing myself on my knees under the horizon,

afraid the next moment might not be young and beautiful.

I am facing other strangers that try to stop us being us,

you think we have not talked for a while.

I am overstressing the timing,

if you forgive the way I let you down.

I am protecting you from unexpected threats,

you still remember to lift me from the ground.

I am letting my tears stop for seconds,

feel like the confession does not end yet.

I am asking the existence of god,

teasing you are real, but I am not.

I am having you feeling everything,

the world spinning, you are still here.

I am blocking myself from feeling unusual,

all you try to deprive me is to regret and cold respond.

I am hugging you for way too long,

you let me despair from loving you, you just care.

I am hitting your broken heart long time before,

all gather together, you still guard me from ordinary.

I am going to die next time,

but I would let you fix my damage before my death.

I am taking my magic trick away from the world,

you control my pain to fill it with the memory we belong together.

I am timing my urge for breaking my breath,

expect to see thousands stars in your sleeping head.

I am handing over my heart,

breeding the last words I would like to say.

I am moving my lips under your eyes, 

speaking about still cannot set you free.

I am freezing when you flip your body,

you also speak in the sleep whenever you feel danger.

I am flipping my tongue,

going over my brain to find possible solution.

I am naming you would always be the same,

what you are claiming to the relationship.

I am testing your patience,

even you are innocent for any further exploration.

I am searching the memories that you can't walk away,

I find my cold would not change you a bit.

I am remembering you as a person,

you have the best quality for a man like me.

I am tempting too much on my daily life,

you might be surprised what I have changed.

I am tapping my sofa,

sharing your cup of tea when it is still hot.

I am reading my signs of temptation,

focus on my experiment.

I am teaching my blood to gather altogether,

but they seem to only listen to you.

I am caring more about the water taste like blood,

the cold is already mixed with human emotion.

I am forgetting the next second you cry in your sleep,

but l hold your hands immediately.

I am ending the last moment I left you,

let you realize I am on the other side of the bed.

I am giving you a million reasons to leave me,

you will not be surprised, maybe complain a lot.

I am emptying the thought of save us from each other,

you can always see my reflection in your insanity.

I am having a lot of good reason to put your hands on my head,

you feel cold now, but you choose to wrap my body.

I am guessing one of us is not good at saying goodbye,

so we just press our luck to be together as long as possible.

I am blinking my eyes,

suggesting you are breathing really fast after your sleep.

I am clapping my face,

erase my faith of faithless addiction.

I am jumping my conclusion,

not the fame I want, I love the idea of coming to light.

I am showing you keep me right,

you have the right to care, I still own you my heart.

I am rushing to tell you who I am,

intend to let you praise me from different angles.

I am having what you tell me to do,

you cannot keep my secret from the dark.

I am listening to your footstep,

stop next to the kitchen door.

I am looking forward you have something to say,

but things about yesterday, tomorrow is not important.

I am adjusting to your next move,

you are waiting too long.

I am saying you are the best man I ever have,

other than all of the blurry definitions.

I am asking how long you can stay hidden,

we both lost each other, for years.

I am sharing your blushing face without taking photo,

for almost thousands more I store in my head.

I am standing in front of you,

you don't mind if I am naked with my emotion.

I am picking a fight with you to see how long you can put up with me,

you hit me deathly without hesitation.

I am explaining we are not dead,

you just don't want to spill the truth over.

I am detaching my logic,

being cold does mean feeling sentiment.

I am exploring what I have done so far,

we stare at each other for many days afterward.

I am giving my pride to you,

you see my veins just black and blue, but not pale anymore.

I am sharing my undisclosed desire,

you count on it more and more.

I am closing my eyes,

when you jump on me.

I am acting out of my character,

you find it interesting.

I am toppling your bed,

you supposedly do it better than me.

**Author's Note:**

> I want to let Sherlock to be sentimental a lot. It feels like he has something more that can deliberate. It has something deep hidden inside him.


End file.
